Wednesday, July 6, 2011


I recently got married to my boyfriend of 4 years, fiance of 1 year. All the time we’ve been together all of our friends who have children have joked about how we’re “next”. Now that we’re married, “when are you having kids?!” and “you’re tired? I bet you’re pregnant!” seem to be completely socially acceptable things to say to me. What. the. f. But I guess I can’t blame people for having babies on the brain. I’m apparently at the age when all of my friends are having babies and posting monthly progress photos of pregnancy and kids on facebook. Everyone I know is having kids. And that's fine--for THEM. Leave my womb out of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids as much as the next girl-well; maybe not quite as much as the next girl, since she seems to want five kids and can’t wait to start popping them out. Meanwhile, when I see an adorable toddler stumbling along, clinging to his mommy’s index finger, the only thing I can think of is how likely it is that this kid is going to grow up to be the selfish prick who cut me off on the freeway this morning, and then flipped me off when I honked because I had to slam on my breaks to prevent slamming my car into him. But that’s just me; maybe it’s a phase? Personally, I like kids the best when I can give them back.

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